Me myself and recession

Here goes my poetic rant titled Me myself and Recession!

here i am sitting

on my bed in the early morning

worrying for the thousandth time

this dark damp future of mine

my life started as venus

brightest start on the horizon

born against the dark clouds

of poverty and indecision

i got lot of opportunities

my own fair share of cheese

i used many, i missed some

they made the path

through which i have come.

I went to good colleges and schools

with strict principles and stricter rules

they moulded me into a better moron

capable, intelligent nonetheless a moron.

I got a seat at Oxford

but it had very high fees

therefore i chose instead 

the university of Leeds

During my one year here

faced the fast pace of life 

and focussed on future and career 

unlike many other guys.

Successful end of my MSc

brought relief and celebration

not only because I was a graduate

but cos I was offered a job situation.

my supervisor was pleased with my work

and wanted me to continue

the remaining phases of my MSc project

which in coming months were due.

A six month position was offered to me

which filled me with delight and glee

A small step towards my career

and be what I want to be.

the work experience filled me with hope

I was feeling on the top 

but little did my poor soul know

it was all going to stop

the recession monster had reared its head

leaving millions of dreams undead

where lied hundreds of routes,

now lies a blunt dead-end.

its been almost a year now

that I was raring to go

venus is engulfed by dark clouds

there is no twinkling, only a glimmer of hope

hope recession will go away

before its too late

to remove the rusty locks and webs

from my old closet of fate 

My optimism hope and intelligence

show me a vision, fill me with hope

they replace my rants with positive chants

and provide me with strength to cope

I hope this recession goes away

with its horrors, dark and grey.

the bruises and pain buried behind

in the unyielding sands of time

let venus twinkle, simmer and shine

over the mountains, rivers and pine.

let me make my dreams age and come true

like an aged sparkling wine.

The first rants

Hello Internetters,

This is the perennial unemployed (been jobless for a year now) ready to voice his opinions on something something (even though no one is really listening).  

Well! What a better way to start my rant than reflecting on the glorious hours I have spent since waking up doing something which is harder to realise than actually being able to do it - doing absolutely nothing!! Hold on! I am rather quite good at it now. Have been practising it since last year and now am an absolute pro at doing nothing. Although its not an easy task even after a trillion hours of passionate practice. 

Moving on, a bit about myself. I am not just an ordinary unemployed. I am a lazy fighter who is unemployed. Confused? Ha ha. Lemme explain. Starting the other way around...with unemployed. The term is self explanatory. The only engagement in the widespread profession of unemployment is deliberating whether to do your laundry today or next week. And it is inadvertently the next week...always. So that's sorted then. I am a laundry deliberating unemployed. Now moving on to the fighter part. 

This blog is the testimony to the size of my unemployed balls and hence me being the fighter unemployed! To be able to see fun in doing nothing even after one year and challenging the world to beat it definitely needs some sort of testicular abnormally. Guess people realise the value of their assets only in time of dire need. My assets? The ability to face the world and proudly say "you can't judge me just because I have been unemployed for months" definitely needs some everyday balls or a bit of shamelessness or a bit of both. To be fair to my fellow brethren, I agree many will be in a similar position to mine. But hey! I am few steps ahead in my bravery. Proof? Here goes:

a) I have applied to zillions of jobs everywhere and still applying. Not only that, I am also framing each and every one of the rejection letters I receive without any delay. So far the count stands at 88. 12 more to get into Guinness books!!

b) I still have got courage to think that the next application will return with a positive response (or it might be more to do with lack of rationality on my part than courage). 

c) I fight myself into believing that the next prospective employer won't be too smug with excess of applications and would look at my CV for more than 3 seconds!

To put my reservoirs of optimism in perspective, you can swim across the English Channel in December with half of my confidence. That's how brimming I am with optimism. 

And the last part..where I mercilessly brand myself as a lazy oaf. I am just trying to balance my opinions about myself the way Jeremy Clarkson balances his opinions while defending the unbiased policies of BBC. I am just referring to my default tendency to postpone filling the damned application forms for next day. No one likes writing their date of birth so many times that they eventually start wishing they were never born in the first place. I also postpone the application forms until they become an eye-shore (or laptop-shore more appropriately). Oh! And talking of Jeremy Clarkson, he is the one man keeping the flame alive for all the no-gooders all around the world including me with his couldn't-care-less views on impeding death of polar bears caused by Lamborghinis and Zondas. Did I tell you that I am so head-over-heels in love with Top Gear that I sent my own fully written script of Top Gear - India to some Indian Channels. I will cuss about that some other time because its time to get back to my shift of unemployment. Rant over!!